Destination in doubt

There are too many words for me to use

yet there aren't enough words for me to describe my feelings

I say something that doesn't sit right

I hear what I say

I am a bad translator for who I am

Somewhere between where I am from and where I am now

I left some words behind

I left part of me behind

If this is my first language, would I know what they want to hear from me?

If this is my only culture, would I blend in like spinach in a vivd green smoothie?

I want to take a nap in the place where nobody is picnicking

Eat somewhere there is no menu

Walk somewhere there is no signs to follow

Nothing really sit right with me

Not even this poem

A guy who fishes in my blue

This moment alone is a lullaby

Even the noise of the city is trying to put me into asleep

In bed, subtle orange light on my cheek

I refuse to end the day because

It's too blue

Overflowing in me

Deep ocean blue

A guy is fishing in my blue

I might know him

I talk to him sometimes

outside of the apartment

Hi, how are you?

He smiles at me but says nothing

That's how my sadness fishes in my blue

Good night mr. blue

Hope there is beautiful fish in my blue

If I ever

You overwrite

the love

you gave to ex lover

with the love

you give me today

You cover your broken heart

with the love

you receive from me today

I am made of

who I loved

how I loved

who I was loved

how I was loved

Are you too?

I can trace the love

you gave to her

Can you too?

If I ever

ever be your ex lover

She will trace the love I am giving to you